INDEPT OF VALENTINE DAY by Author B

Valentine’s Day can be a wonderful opportunity to create a little
romance, even if it’s not your normal style.
Ask Men suggests re-enacting your first date, doing something
active (like ice skating) together, going for a massage or spending
the night at a bed and breakfast as some of its top ways to
celebrate Valentine’s Day.
And who wouldn’t enjoy something like that?
But Valentine’s Day can also be hazardous to your relationship,
especially if expectations between partners are too high or don’t
match up.
“For those who are in relationships, Valentine’s Day acts like a
magnifying glass,” psychiatrist Carole Leiberman wrote in The
Huffington Post. Flaws become more obvious when compared to
fantasies of “perfect love we’ve been sold — from fairytales to
films, and greeting cards to giant billboards.”
One study at Arizona State University found that 13 percent of
romantic breakups occur in February, a short month that only
represents 8 percent of the year. The study found that Valentine’s
Day is not likely to cause relationship problems, but it can magnify
problems that already exist.
“The trick is figuring out whether you’re sabotaging a good
relationship or holding onto someone who is bound to break your
heart,” according to Leiberman.
To avoid negative Valentine’s Day fallout in a relationship you think
is worth keeping, Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker of Psych Central
offers these tips:
Clarify expectations ahead of time. “To prevent the heartbreak of
disappointment or a serious misstep on what is supposed to be
the day of love, have a clear conversation ahead of time about
what you would both feel is appropriate to honor the day.”
Consider the stage of the relationship. “A relationship that has just
begun is different than a relationship that is in full bloom, and that
is different than longtime married love.”
Keep budget considerations in mind. “Love isn’t measured in
dollars. It’s measured in thoughtfulness, tenderness and a bit of
romance.”
Remember who you’re with. Some people just aren’t into “hearts
and flowers and mushy romance,” and that may not change just
because it’s Feb. 14.
Focus on love, not on what society says Valentine’s Day should be.
“Some people are creative and capable of flamboyant surprises.
Others are quieter and express their affection in simpler ways.
There’s no right way to observe Valentine’s Day.