MARRIAGE IS NOT ALWAYS EASY, BUT IT’S WORTH JOURNEY

MARRIAGE IS NOT ALWAYS EASY, BUT IT’S WORTH JOURNEY

Andre and Diane Demers, both 68, have been married for
almost 50 years, and they will be the first to tell you that
marriage is not always easy, but it’s worth the journey.
“It always seems like a 90 and 10 share of the responsibilities in
a relationship where someone is giving 90 [percent] and the
other’s giving 10 [percent],” Andre says. “Maybe down the road,
it becomes 50/50, but it’s all really about give and take.
The New Hampshire resident and his wife met right after high
school and dated for almost two years before deciding to get
married in 1967. Shortly after getting married, Andre would go
on to spend a year in Vietnam as a helicopter pilot.
After retiring from the service, the couple would both go on to
have successful careers in banking. At a glance, the couple
seemed to have it all. They had good jobs, a solid marriage, and
memories of amazing trips around the world, but there was one
thing they were never able to do.
“We never had children, which was not by design, but it just
never happened,” Andre says. “We talked a little bit about
adoption, but she wanted her own children.”
They never let this break them. In fact, Diane and Andre built
very close relationships with their nieces and nephews, and they
credit the success of their marriage to their ability to manage
whatever life threw their way, together.
And to have fun! For their 25th wedding anniversary, Andre and
his bride vowed to take a cruise every five years to celebrate
their anniversary. They went on to do two more cruises for their
30th and 35th wedding anniversaries until things changed.
“That’s when she was diagnosed,” Andre says.
Soon after their cruise, the couple learned that Diane had
Alzheimer’s disease. Of course, Andre has tough days as Diane’s
primary caregiver, but working with Easter Seals Adult Day
Services has been a huge help. “I’ve just been overwhelmed by
their generosity,” Andre says.
Andre has advice for other couples who are starting to notice
the early signs of dementia or Alzheimer’s. “Don’t categorize
some actions as just a ‘senior moment.’ Get it checked out,” he
says.
Andre also attributes their long marriage to the couple’s strong,
faith in God, as well as their loyalty and love for one another.
“We said our vows, ‘for better or for worse,’ and if there’s
something we can do [if there was something wrong], we did
whatever we could to work it out,” he says