RELATIONSHIP TALK

RELATIONSHIP TALK

On the rocky road of Love, some of the deep potholes you encounter can cause a blowout. Careful driving with both eyes on the road will help you avoid the innumerable hazards that can wreck your precious bond. Relationships need attention and care, much like a car needs gas, a tune-up and an oil change every 3,000 miles. On your journey of love, prevent the three most treacherous and common relationship pitfalls.

Money, insecurity and fear of change are three demons that can spell doom for a relationship. We will examine each hot spot and create a set of affirmations that will keep your relationship humming.

Pitfall One: Money

Money is not the greatest hazard to your relationship that everyone believes it to be. Money just makes the easiest argument, guaranteed to put everyone at odds. Money casts a weird spell in very unpredictable ways. The people who have much money tend to be very worried about losing it. To those with little, money is a constant concern, pain and need. Money drives some people mad. It urges others to steal and kill. Some don't have a care or worry about it. But to many, money becomes a sensitive hot button issue.
Money is a scapegoat, an excuse catch-all for many other issues and problems. Your soulmate may scream, "How much did you spend on those damn curtains?!," but what he would rather honestly admit is, "Honey, I feel like you've been pushing me away and I am lonely."
Money is always the easiest excuse. Everyone uses it. Someone is either spending too much or too little. Money is the easiest way to start an argument. When your boss yells at you for someone else's mistake, you can work the hurt feelings out in the gym or you can go home and pick a fight with your mate. "Do you really need that Porsche?" If you are angry that he has left the sink full of dirty dishes, push some buttons and remind him that he is not bringing home enough bacon. Money causes mayhem. It is the easiest way to insult and anger the one you love. Our society places a great deal of importance and imagined power on money. Your wealth is your stature. In a relationship, money can easily corrupt your pure love.

If we strip it naked, money is merely a unit of measure, an accounting tool. Money is a means of trade and exchange. Money holds no value in the strength of your relationship. Money can never be a symbol of your romantic achievements. Your partnership is the focus of your greatest success. The health, direction and progress of your partnership are where your greatest riches lie.

When the fires of a money argument start to smolder, step aside and ask, "What is the underlying problem here? What are we really arguing about?" Arguments over money rarely have anything to do with finances. Exhaust all your possibilities. What started your disagreement? Look for feelings of anger, resentment or failures with the zeal of a crime scene investigator. Who knows? At the end of the day, you may discover that nothing is amiss and the electric bill really is overdue.x

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